I cannot express the kind of joy that comes for a Cubs fan to know that we will be playing ball in October.  The first playoffs that I remember was in 1984 when I was in Junior High.  The Cubs were 1 game from winning the Eastern Division and lost three straight to the Padres.  In 1989, my freshman year in college the Cubs were, again, one game from taking the NLCS and lost three straight to Will "Grand Slam" Clark and the Giants. In 1998 there was the tremendous home run race with Sammy and McGuire and the infamous cal  from Ron Santo "OH NOOOOOOOOOO!  HE Dropped the BALL!!!!" when Brant Brown dropped a routine pop fly against the Brewers to force a one game playoff with the Giants.  1998 was also Kerry Wood's rookie year with the 20 Strikeout game against the Astros.  Tracy and I had just moved into our new house and K was just a year old.  I absolutely freaked out as I saw the umpires give Glavine, Maddux and Smoltz 6 inches to either side of the plate and the Cubs lost to the Braves.  Then the greatest disappointment of all came in 2003 with the infamous Steve Bartman incident.  In fairness, if Alex Gonzalez would have fielded the an easy double play instead of booting it around the infield, the Cubs would have won.  Tracy and I were in Tolono that year and we were watching the game on a TV in the kitchen because that was the year that I got rid of our TV and I was making a special exception for the game.  The rest of the church was listening to the game out by a campfire on our new property.

Can the Cubs go all the way this year?   Of course they can and I am excited about watching them play in October.  I will always remember this season and how it was the year that we moved to Louisville and watched the Brewers lose to the Padres and the Cubs beat the Reds (just up the road in Cincinnati!)  I wonder what sort of tragic circumstance will mark this season? 

I wrote a few days ago about getting sick and, to my surprise, I started to get even worse.  I cannot remember being so sick and I can certainly never remember being that sick for 7 days straight.  Yesterday, I even got a little frightened that I might have contracted viral or bacterial meningitis due to the sever headache, stiff neck and sensitivity to light.  The good news is that if it was bacterial meningitis I would have been dead a few days ago, so it must be viral.   

Needless to say, when I started to think meningitis, I went to the Southern Seminary Clinic on campus.  First of all, I need to say that this is a fantastic resource for students of SBTS.  The clinic is well equipped clinic, not just a back room somewhere, that even has doctor around part of the time.  I was warmly greeted and given an appointment later in the day in which I returned to see Dr. Simpson.  The office visit was only $5 and the strepp test was an additional $5!  What a blessing for the temporarily uninsured patient. 

I hobbled back to the clinic in the late afternoon and the strepp was negative, but my throat was swollen shut with pustules and the like, so the Doc gave me a prescription for a mega-dose of amoxacyllian.  Again,  the doc understood that I was not insured right now and prescribed something on Wal-Mart's $4 dollar prescription list.  He also asked me some pointed questions like "How many hours of sleep are you getting at night?" (4 to 5), Are you working in addition to school (yes), and how many kids do I have (4).  He was quick to diagnose that I was obviously worn down and needed to take a few days off with nothing but bed rest. 

As a younger man I might have shrugged off this advice, but after the last few days of misery and crippling illness, I realized that I am going to have to do just that.  No school or work for yesterday or today and maybe I can beat this thing.  As readers of Fear and Trembling probably understand, this near collapse has been a long time in the making dating back to the church pressures of March and April, the move of the family to Louisville, the dramatic weight loss, the stress of getting back in the Guard, a new secular job, the drama of Tracy's job search, the radical change in our family life, the workload of seminary classes and most importantly,  the spiritual angst that I have struggled with since leaving the pulpit. 

I feel a little better this morning after the antibiotics, but from here on out, I am back to eating well, sleeping well, and understanding my limits. 

There would be a lot of SBC messengers that would be in serious trouble if this security force was employed at the annual convention!  Long winded resolution? ZAP!  Integrity in Church Membership? ZAP! ZAP!

Seriously though, did this kid really need to be tazered?  My question is this:  why in the world didn't more of these young liberal college students rise up to help their brother (I am assuming that the majority of students that would be able to withstand a 2 hour snorefest from John Kerry are liberals)  I guess they just don't make liberal rebel rousers like they used to in the 1960s.  I noticed this phenomenon when I was living in Champaign.  A group would have an anti-war protest and have 12 to 20 people standing on the corner looking like state highway workers (that one is for you, Joe).  I am not anti-war, but if I was, I would certainly do a better job than these kids. 

My generation (common referred to as "X") and particularly the generation of my oldest daughter (commonly referred to as "Y") are so numb to any sort of outrage about anything.  I really like blogging, but I don't think that it is any substitute for in your face protesting.  What would I protest?  Well, nothing in particular, I understand that preaching is God's mechanism for real change, so I preach.  But if you are a Atheist Liberal Vegetarian who used to work for Greenpeace,  I would think that there would be a great many things that you could be taking to the streets about.  The above incident might be just such an opportunity.

ADDENDUM:  I saw another video angle of the incident and I noticed that although no one attempted to help this idiot kid, there were about 15 people taking videos of the tazering!  On top of it all, John Kerry stood their like a wooden statue while the whole thing went down.  I think I read something about John Kerry being a war protester at one time .  One might think that he would have jumped down there and used his clout to calm the situation.

The past few days have been rough.  I have had a 104+ fever for several days and ached like I was hit by a truck.  I had to ask my Greek professor if I was in class on Friday.  Apparently, I attended class and took a quiz but I have no memory of it and in my feverous state I have been fixated on whether or not I was there.  Really weird. 

I am not usually sick.  My whole family can come down with something and I will be unaffected, but the considerable stress of our life changes has left me broken down and susceptible.  There has to be some changes made to be sure.  Fall break is coming up in a few weeks and I cannot wait.  

Tracy and I had to start searching for a new daycare provider a few weeks ago.  KinderCare in Louisville was providing excellent care for Eleanor, but at $192.00 a week, it was costing more than our rent!  Tracy placed an ad with the Seminary human resource bulletin and girl who took the ad knew a seminary wife who needed some extra income.  We called the seminary wife and it was a real no-brainer.  Kelly, our new sitter, could watch Eleanor for considerably less and we could help another seminary family in the process.

When Tracy picked up Eleanor for the first time, they started to talk about churches and Kelly started to sing the praises of her church, Baxter Avenue Baptist Church.  From her description, the church sounded like a cross between our two previous churches, Bara Baptist and Tolono First Baptist.   Baxter Avenue Baptist Church is small church located just down from the artsy strip of boutiques, tattoo parlors, coffee houses, and taverns on Baxter Avenue.  The church has been there since 1937 and suffered such a serious decline that they had found a buyer for the building and were going to shut the doors.  God intervened and through the faith and perseverance of two older ladies, they stayed open and called a young, bi-vocational pastor.  The current pastor, Ben Lairamore, was not that pastor, but after getting involved and the previous pastor left, Ben took over as pastor. 

Essentially, Ben was left with a building and a blank slate!  No power struggles, no entrenched family interest, no skeletons in the closet or spiritual land mines to navigate, just a brand new start. Praise God!  Those people who were left were desperate enough to understand that drastic action needed to be taken.  So what was that drastic action?  Did Ben lead the church into a shiny new church model?"  Did the church "emerge" from the doldrums of entrenched Baptist polity?  Did they find their "purpose" in a short 40 days?  From what my keenly trained eye saw and my hypersensitive ears heard,  The church started has a worship service on Sunday morning that was both holy and upbeat simultaneously, they started to focus on evangelizing the area 1/4 mile around their building, and they get together to disciple one another.  Groundbreaking stuff, huh? 

From the minute that we drove up, we were met by people who were friendly but not Stepford wife friendly, there seemed to be a variety of people from all walks of life, and we were not overwhelmed by some "intentional" master plan for the church.  The pastor, Ben, is 28 years old, not seminary trained and seems to be plugging along by the seat of his pants.  Right On.  I have been there and it was some of the most fulfilling times of my ministerial life.   Ben delivered a solid sermon on Mark 1:1 and it was clear that he was dedicated to biblical preaching.  It was also clear that there is a definite Reformed tone to the church without all of the stuffiness that is often accompanied with it.  All and all, it was a great day for worship.  I am excited about investigating further and trying to discover if I can find a place in this ministry.

To top it all off, the second pew from the front left side was open and available for the Kroencke family!  Maybe God was reserving us a spot!By the way..... GO CUBS

Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.  For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.  But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Jas 1:21-25).

A special revelation is given to man in the Holy Scriptures.  These scriptures, as received through the Spirit of God, are complete and able to not only make us wise onto salvation, but also prepares us for every good work.  How tragic is it to have a path to blessing right in front you and choose instead a path to satisfy the flesh?  How many Christians lament at the woeful state of their churches and their own lives but refuse to follow the Word of God out of fear? 

There are appeals made to practicality, expediency, difficulty, and worst of all, uncertainty.  With our lips we doubt the knowability of the Word, but in our spirits we groan for its requirements are certain.  We live lives that are filled with regret because we lay aside this revelation for weaker principles.  What if we resigned ourselves to follow God's Word regardless of the personal cost?  How many times must we suffer for our disobedience before we understand that God moves upon His Word and that it will not return unto Him void? 

...To uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America.  You guessed it Fear and Trembling readers, I am back in the Army!  I just got through getting "taped" for the third time to see if I made the body fat standard and I finally passed.  At Christmas I was at a stout 252 pounds and after putting down the fork more often and exercising regularly, I have lost a total of 45 lbs in the last eight months and I am now walking around at a considerably more manageable 207 pounds.  My next weight goal is 199 for psychological reasons with a final goal of 185.  185 will put me under the max weight for my height in the Army and I won't have to go through the taping process next year.  I also need to keep up with my wife.  I was noticing the other day that she looks better at 37 than she did at 27! mmmm mmmm

Back to Army matters (sorry for the diversion but I think a man needs to step back and take a long look at his lady now and again),  the second phase of the plan is to get my commission as an officer.  This should not take too long, but then again, I thought I would be in uniform long before now!  I also want to send out props to the recruiter that has been working with me since May, SSG Autumn Owen.  SSG Owen is the Illinois National Guard recruiter stationed at the Champaign, Illinois Armory and she has done a fantastic job of getting me where I needed to go, providing encouragement after several setbacks, and doing all that she can to get me into the Guard.  She has gone above and beyond the call of duty and she is a real soldier's soldier.  I probably would have given up a long time ago if I had a recruiter like the ones that I have seen in the past. 

I should have my 2LT bars before Christmas and next summer I will probably be going to the U.S. Army chaplain school at Fort Jackson, SC.  I have asked to do all 10 weeks of training at the same time instead of spreading it out over 3 years.  Tracy's job is for a public school, so she will be home with the kids all summer (while still getting a paycheck!) and I will be making 2LT pay with 6 years prior service.  This is considerably more than I would make slinging Italian food all summer.  We might even get enough ahead for me to not work at all in the fall so I can take an overload of classes.  I would love to get done a semester or two early if I can.  Besides, 10 weeks away from home might be a dry run for a possible deployment.  You cannot join the military without the expectation of getting deployed along the way.  I realize that most people do not understand this, but I even look forward to a deployment.  Outside the politics of the war,  there is a great ministerial need among the soldiers overseas. 

Should we be in Iraq?  At this point the argument is academic and I view it as a fait accompli.  I am much more concerned with commission to preach the Gospel than I am at affecting geopolitics. I have read the book and I know how it all ends.  Wars and rumors of wars are just the birth pains of a creation that will be redeemed.  It is all going to get a lot worse before it ever gets better.  Do I have opinions?  Sure I do! but whether it is in season or out of season, I am charged to preach and your position on Iraq has no bearing on your eternal destiny.  I also know that one of the second most important relationship that a person can have, marriage, is under assault by the pressures of war and I am qualified to help in this area of people's lives.  The point of having a strong marriage is not for your personal benefit alone.  A strong marriage can be a blessing to many people, starting with your own children and moving outward.  My marriage is rock solid and I want to use that stability to help other soldiers.   

I realize that there has been an extended absence of blog postings in this last week.  A financial necessity for extra work, my Greek midterm, a visit from my parents and a horrendous case of insomnia has conspired to keep me from the blog.  I have stored up a few good ideas for the weeks ahead, so keep checking back. 

In the meantime, we just took Eleanor to the Photographer for some pictures.  With every child you get more and more lax in taking pictures, keeping mementos and making videos.  My mother noticed the lack of Eleanor portraits and arranged for a session when she came Louisville last week.  I am glad she pressed the issue and the results were fantastic.  We had a good photographer that was able to capture Eleanor's considerable personality.  Here are the pictures...