Today was Tolono "Fun Day." In previous years it was a day of frantic activity as the church finished up the annual Vacation Bible School float, I cobbled together some sort of sound system for the music and passed out a few hundred VBS flyers for the kids watching the parade. This year is frantic too but for much different reasons. With just 13 days to go I decided to skip out on the Fun Day activities and continue the process of disengaging from the community I have been ministering to for 8 years (Eight years today as a matter of fact!)

Instead, I spent all day in my father's workshop building 3 lofts for my children's rooms. With only 1000 square feet and 6 of us, there has to be more than a little "stacking" of children and possessions. In addition to the lofts I have had to make over 100 feet of bookshelf space to house my library that was formerly in my office at the church. Everything is pretty much built and I just have a lot of staining and varnishing to do before I pack up on the 12th and 13th. I am going to make a specific post about the furniture construction with some photos. Ironically, I have gotten much more built since I sold my tools than when I had a shop full of tools! I built all kinds of things for the church over the years (like floats and VBS props) but I have never actually built anything for my family. The cobbler's son has no shoes, I guess.

Dad and I have had a good time in the shop together too. He was not in town this weekend and he is a much better "assistant" than my wife. Dad and I can make some quick headway on projects since I can anticipate what he is going to do next. Starting with my Grandfather (or even before), the men in my family have developed a language of whistles, psssst, and other non-language utterances which allow us to communicate without actually speaking. My grandfather was the best at it, since he rarely spoke this came in handy. I am also trying to spend as much time with the parents as I can before I leave. Louisville will be as far away as I have ever been and Mom and Dad have gotten used to us being just up the road. I am at the point in my life where I don't need to be close to my parents, but I want to be close.

It is Saturday night and I need to get back to the sermon. What am I going to do with no sermon to prepare? I can imagine that my Blog post may lengthen some what with no other outlet available to me. I am sure that I will have some pulpit supply opportunities arise when I get down to Louisville. A few months off will be nice, but I will probably develop a tick without a steady diet of preaching...

I am at the more "alternative" coffee house of the ones I usually frequent.  Cafe Paradisio is on the edge of the University of Illinois campus and has very limited parking and instead of pay the ridiculously high parking rate of the People's Republic of Urbana, most people double park in Paradisio's parking lot.  It is gentleman's agreement among the patrons that you inform one of the staff if you are being blocked in and they make announcement to move you vehicle.  No friction, everyone is cool... 

There is, however, one employee that looks like a miniature version of Beck (cheesy mustache and slouch included) that has a tone of indignation when he announces that the owner of THE S.U.V needs to move their vehicle. Now I am sure that this kid has hemp underwear and rides his bicycle from the dorm, but there is no need to single out my vehicle choice as a symbol of all that is wrong with the world.  The Explorer gets about 22 MPG on average and usually is carting around a family of six with the occasional guest. If you do the math on passengers carried versus MPG, you will find that my S.U.V is not so B.A.D. in the mileage department.  It's not like I can cart my family around in a Prius!

Besides, I should get some credit for driving around a Ford Festiva for 3 years.  The Festiva got 45 MPG and cost me a total of $800.  Compare this to the 20,000 dollars you pay for a Prius to get 55 MPG.  This hybrid kick is a real pet peeve of mine since I know darn well that Europe has all kinds of little diesel mini-cars that get over 65 MPG and cost a lot less than a Prius. As far as total energy impact, the best thing to do is go buy a decent used car that gets good gas mileage and you save the energy it takes to produce a new car.  Here is an interesting article about the cradle to grave energy impact of various cars.   Pay attention to the part about the place that Toyota gets the nickel for its batteries.  This hybrid thing is a giant scam, go buy a bike or a Festiva if you are worried about the energy impact of your vehicle. 

Another emerging problem is the affect of ethanol and bio-diesel on the price of food.  There has already been a spike in milk and meat prices because of the shift of grain to produce ethanol.  This is all really good for the farmer, but the consumer is going to pay the price.  Mexico has been experiencing sharp price increased in tortillas and in Germany beer has been steadily rising for the same reasons.  When you hear politicians and activist tout the advantages of alternative fuels, please understand that they have an impact to the whole economic system.  There is no such thing as a free lunch!  Again, buy a bicycle and convert today's lunch into an alternative fuel.     

Finally, I have been thinking about living in an urban area in just a few weeks.  Our location and proximity to work, shopping and services will make a huge impact on our "energy use" (or as I like to refer to it, my wallet)  I think that I am going to enjoy being so close to all of our needs, especially in the area of time savings.  And, yes, I bought a bicycle.  In the end, I am not going to pay extra to "save the earth", but I will act in accordance with the needs of my family and having less "impact" often means that I am going to save a buck or two and those of us on the low end of the food chain cannot be expected to act any differently.  I may drive an SUV, but I bet that my overall energy usage is less than the Hollywood stars who drive a Prius, but live in 15,000 square foot mansions and fly all over the world.

There was a time that I spent a lot of time at a particular diner in Champaign, Illinois. At this diner was a group of about 8 or 9 twenty-somethings that spent a lot of time socializing there at all hours of the night. As is my custom, I wedged my way into their conversations and got to know them all well. It was a way for me to minister and give the Gospel to people in a context outside of my "normal" ministry. Believe me, nothing about ministering to this group of jokers was normal.

Two of the kids that hung out there are sisters, Jordan and Taylor, and they had a younger sister, Garet, who was generally too busy doing productive things to join in on the coffee marathons. The girls all grew up in church, but they are Methodist so I had my work cut out for me! For example, Taylor once asked me what book of the Bible had "Jack in the Beanstalk." Between the angst of being 20, various relationships. internal group dramas, and other crisis associated with the age, I had all kinds of opportunity to give counsel and Biblical guidance. These girls would baby-sit my kids, come to the house to have diner with my family and they included me in the most important decisions that they were making about their lives.

Much like my own children, I often wondered of they were listening to a word that I said to them and I often rued the day that I became so invested in their lives. I love them so much that I was even comfortable being absolutely frank with them concerning their spiritual health. This resulted in no little amount of tears on their part (but if you knew them well, inducing tears is not too difficult) They eventually all moved away to start their lives. Garet to Utah for school, Taylor to Chicago to be an EMT and Jordan got married to a very nice man and also moved to Chicago.

When I contacted them recently about the changes in my life they all wrote back immediately with long specific lists of how I had an influence on them. Their letters were such an encouragement to me and reminded me why I was a pastor and what kind of pastor that I wanted to be. I never want to be that guy with the expensive suit and the pompadour hair (as if I could, I cannot afford to buy suits or hair!) and I never want to be that pastor who spends 30 hours a week in his office waiting for people to wander into a church house looking for the Gospel. The man of God belongs out in the places that people go not cloistered in a Christian ghetto someplace preaching to people who always (more or less!) agree with him. If I did that, I would have never met this group of kids and these three sisters and my life would have been the worse for not knowing them.

I have just 7 days before they measure my midsection at the Chicago MEPS station on next Tuesday morning. I am feeling pretty good about it, but I am not taking any chances and I am going to ramp up the diet and ride the bike every day until I have to go. I took off this morning with the knowledge of an immanent storm approaching but I thought that maybe I could beat it to the coffee house. I was riding furiously for about 8 miles and made it to the Hilton hotel in Champaign before the sky opened up and brought a deluge. It was kind of fun riding with such a specific purpose and I pedaled like I was being chased by the devil himself.

I spent about an hour in the lobby of the Hilton and got some computer work done, but the guy at the desk kept looking at me like I was some sort of vagrant waiting out the rain so I decided that it was time to move on storm or not. I asked the very nice lady who was vacuuming if I could have a big trash bag and there in the lobby I fashioned a poncho for myself with my ever present Leatherman tool, slipped it on over my backpack and headed off into the rain. The new bike handled nicely in the rain and my backside got a bit wet from the seat, but I arrived at the coffee house a few minutes later to dry off, write my blog post for the day and start on my Sermon for Sunday.

Tracy and I are currently in Louisville so that she can take a clerical test for a library position at the seminary (one of the largest theological libraries in the world, joy!) and since we found an apartment on the last trip in April, I am trying out local coffee houses on the second trip. A man needs a place to go, especially if he is not a drinker. I also need a place in which I am amongst the people and away from the Christian ghettos that we often create for ourselves. If you are going to talk to people about Jesus and His gospel, you got to get down to street level.

Anyway, I am in a promising coffee house called Heine Brothers (tee hee, hinny brothers) on Frankfort Ave. just down the street from the seminary and our new apartment. At first blush it seems promising.

1. It is not a chain, it is local.

2. The coffee is roasted on site and really good

3. The prices are comparable to the houses back in Champaign

4. There are plenty of different people in here right now. A few hippy sandal people, a business man, joggers, a seminary student in the corner (Me), a mom and her kids, etc. I like to have a big mix of people to interact with in a coffee house.

5. It is less than a mile down the road.

The only con is that the tables are painfully small and it does not allow me to spread out my stuff like I like to do. I need some serious real estate on a table when I set up my study rig. The WiFi also seems a bit spotty, but maybe I am on the wrong network. Heine Brothers (Hinny, tee hee) is in the running for a place for me to study, but I am going to certainly try a few others in the area. Oops, another con that I just noticed is that they are only open until 10:00 on the weekdays. I like to go to the coffee house later in the evening after the kids and my early to bed wife have turned in for the night. I also need about a 3 hours block to make it worth while, so that might be a problem for me.

All in all, a nice place and I give it 3 night hawks out of 4....

Last week we traveled to Rockford for the AAU State track meet to get K some much needed racing experience.  We found that the competition was far beyond what she has been getting locally, but this was a good thing.  K's coach, Abe Jones, had her placed in the fastest seeds, which was probably an overstatement of her standing with these girls who have been running in meets for 3 years, but I think it pushed her and I cannot be more proud of how K handled herself even though she did not win.  K was professional and focused even though her race was about 2 hours late because of administrative snafus on the part of the track officials.  K was out on the field in the 95 degree sun for those 2 hours and stayed focused and ready the entire time! 

It was also K's first time to use the blocks and she took to them immediately.  Abe had just brought out the blocks a week previous to the meet and did a little tune up that morning, but she still started like a champ.  She was the first out of the blocks in both her 100 and 200 meter races, but the experience and physical development of the other girls was just too much for K's fast start to overcome.  Some of these nine year old girls are physically developed like 16 years and K has been blessed/cursed with her mother tendency to be a "late bloomer."   The fact that K did as well as she did is a real testimony to good coaching and good technique. 

The whole family has a great time at the track meet despite the heat.  Our Rockford kinfolk were able to attend one of her races and it was a good chance to catch up.  We saw some incredible young athletes, good sportsmanship all around and we were very encouraged to keep coming to these events.  I had not ever watched a track meet before and I found myself really getting into it!  It was inspirational to see such determination and discipline in 8,9, and 10 year old athletes.  Many of the kids looked like miniature Olympic athletes in their form and it was a joy to watch them compete. 

As the Southern Baptist Convention closed there was, as always, a lot of talk about unity and diversity.  In such a large organization as the SBC, co-existence of the various lines of thought will be an enduring reality.  The question is this:  How do we can we have unity of mission even though we have a diversity of beliefs?  The answer lies in confession statements and the proper use of those statements.  This issue was directly addressed by the resolution to make the Baptist Faith and Message sufficient for SBC entities to use as a theological guideline.  First, I have mixed thoughts on this resolution and I will address those thoughts first.

On one hand,  the resolution effectively calms my fears about a Calvinist litmus test being put in place by one of the various SBC entities such as the IMB and NAMB.  In a previous post I mentioned that I could envision this becoming a reality of the rift over limited atonement becomes much wider or more heated.  Anti-Calvinist forces, which obviously exist as in the case of the Florida Baptist Convention, could implement these litmus test given enough people in the right positions.  The resolution keeps an entity from going beyond the Baptist Faith and Message.

On the other hand, the resolution ties the hands of Seminaries that obviously need a more detailed confession statement than the BF&M 2000.  I often say in my own church that I hold to that statement, but I also go beyond that statement as well since it is too vague for some purposes.   I would hate to see the Abstract of Principles removed from Southern Seminary since its effective use has affected an incredible turn around at that institution in the last 15 years.  Many people were critical of the Abstract of Principles use to remove professors from their positions and made the cry of creedalism that is often heard in Baptist quarters.  This brings me to my main point.

Confessions can bring more academic and spiritual freedom than the rejection of such confessions.   

Our faith as it is manifested in the world is composed of issues that are disputable, as is clearly taught in Romans 14 and those issues which are not disputable.  Certain issues, such as the Deity of Christ and His substitutionary death are indisputable since the rejection of these doctrines remove the heart of Christianity.  To reject them is to not be a Christian.  But,  if one brother believes in total abstinence from alcohol and another does not, this does not necessarily bear witness to their faith in Christ. Confessions, then are statements of the non-negotiables as we understand them from the scriptures. 

Then someone might ask, "How does holding to a confession bring more freedom?"  To this I would answer that departing from orthodoxy is no freedom but rather an enslavement to the principles of the world.  Paul tells the Galatians:

"Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? You observe days and months and seasons and years! I am afraid I may have labored over you in vain."

If a body of believers hold to a confession statement, this can create an atmosphere of trust and safety in which disputable matters can be honestly and openly discussed (since they too are important) without the fear of being marked a heretic!  I have seen too many Christian debates turn ugly because the participants start to cast aspersions concerning the orthodoxy of their opponent.  These ad hominum attacks undermine Christian growth and that is no real freedom!

The context of the Seminary needs academic freedom to explore issues from a variety of sources.

A while back I posted about a seminary professor at Midwestern named name Mark DeVine.  He has signed his name to a confessional statement (I am not sure which one that seminary uses) so that when he was speaking to me about Barth and Brunner, I had confidence that he is not neo, hetero, or unorthodox in his teachings even though he finds that theologians such as these men have something to offer to the discussion.  I want to be able to address the issues that are raised in sources such as these (for example, I have been blessed by reading Kierkegaard even though I am not an existentialist!)  I am going to Southern Seminary in 23 days and I expect my professors to be dedicated believers and men who hold to the innerrency of scripture, but I also expect them to be men who are widely read and understand how the orthodox faith stands in relation to the wider spectrum of thought.  There are some fundamentalist (for lack of a better word) who would pass judgement upon me because of the large number of Greek philosophers who take up space on my bookshelf!  Even my stewardship would be called into question since I spent God's money on such books!  This kind of book burning mentality is no real freedom. 

Confessions help us make judgements about movements within the church  

Every generation of Christians put their own stamp upon the church.  The Baby Boomers had their Willow Creek Model, Generation X-ers are now "emergent" and there are bound to be new movements that rise up if the Lord tarries.  How are we to discern the legitimacy of these church movements if we are not confessional?  We can pass judgement on aesthetics alone in which case every generation will reject the generation who follows, or we can do our best to tease out the cultural phenomenon from the actual teaching of a particular movement.  Dr. Mark DeVine has written an excellent article in which he attempts to do just what I said above.  I want to protect Baptist's freedom to express their faith in a variety of ways, but I cannot abide heresy.  Being confessional allows us to have diversity without heresy!  Let the debates rage on about the disputable matters and let it all be within the assurance that we hold to a common faith that is beyond man's wisdom!

I weighed in this morning at 220 (32 lbs down from December 20th) and 41 inches around the belly.  The US army measures soldiers who are above the allowable weight (189 for my height and age!) and has some sort of voodoo formula/ratio between the Neck and the Belly to gauge body fat content. From what I have experienced, it is pretty darn accurate on me because I have had impendence testing done and it is similar in results.   I am currently at 26% body fat and I need to be at 24%.   Not bad considering that I was tipping the scales at 252 last year and over 30% body fat.  By my calculations I need to lose about another 8 to 10 lbs to make weight.  Since I have just 24 days before I leave for SBTS I am going to cut it close!

As some of you have noticed, I have posted twice on conditions inside the Southern Baptist Convention.  These post have quadrupled my hits to this site, but have also left me to wonder if this is the right direction to go with my writing.  As I have said before, blogs provide an direct source of information and news that is not under the control of some bureaucratic entity (this is true for both the secular and Baptist worlds), but it is pretty clear that the bloggers pay a high price for being this "voice in the wilderness."  One of the most prominent bloggers in the SBC, Marty Duren, has decided to give up his blog concerning SBC issues.  His last post was yesterday and can be read here.  This post was a compelling and transparent look into the life of man who has been on the cutting edge of blogging in our convention.

In addition to this post,  I have also had a conversation with a close friend from long ago when I first entered the ministry.  This man has been in various churches as the pastor, but has decided to start a church from the ground up to avoid all the pitfalls of reforming a church that is already established.  This pastor has an almost identical understanding of the church as I do and is in almost complete agreement about the solutions.  The difference is, however, that instead of getting caught in the mire of SBC politics, he spends his time ministering.  He encouraged me to not lose sight of the fact that being a pastor is the absolute greatest privilege and the proclaiming the  Word from the pulpit is the most wonderful task in the Kingdom.  I have lost this appreciation lately.

On the other hand...

Who, then, is supposed to fight these battles that need to be fought on a National, State, and Local level?  Tom Ascol is, by every definition, up to his neck in the continuing struggles of the SBC and, like any man who puts himself in such position, has the spotlight of his critics focused upon him continually.  Does Tom seem combative at times?  Does he seem contentious?  I would say yes, but is it any surprise considering the the role that he plays?  You can see in Tom Ascol's blog posts and other writings that he roars forward on certain issues and then seems more conciliatory at times.  What accounts for this back and forth movement on his part? Although I do not know him personally, I imagine it is because he does not have the intention to be divisive, but he also cannot let things stay unspoken.  It is a real paradox for men such as these and they continually struggle about how aggressive to be.  This can be clearly seen in the last post of SBC outpost as well. 

It is so simple for people of all convictions to point to these men with scorn while the rest of us "rise above" the situation and save voicing our convictions to people who are likely to agree with us.  Tom Ascol, Marty Duren and others put it out there for everyone and they pay the high price of doing so.  I have the highest respect for these kinds of men.  These kinds of men, on every side of the issue, are needed to push the debate forward and help the rest of us overcome the fear of divisiveness.  These men are gadflies in our lives that cause needed discomfort.  Otherwise, these issues would just fester until there is no reconciliation possible.  I pray for these men as they struggle back and forth with the wisdom of their actions because we need these men!

In Conclusion...

In the SBC we have men like my pastor friend who keeps the focus on his local church, we have men like Tom Ascol and Marty Duran who say "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead."  and we have men like Frank Page, our SBC president, who is somewhere in the middle (some would say that Albert Mohler is also one of these men because he often backs off the reformation issue for the sake of peace, some see him as a Gadfly, and I believe that he has a unique role as a Seminary president that requires more tact than we who are lower on the food chain) and we have men like my pastor who has lead his church out of the convention altogether!  It is clear that we need all of these types of men in the collective leadership of our collective churches, but the main question for me is "What is my place in all of this?"  I am at a turning point in my life in which I am about to head out into the larger SBC world and starting running in the same circles as the men mentioned above, yet I have every intention of returning to the local church (God willing) after I graduate.  Will I be so embroiled in SBC politics that I am of little use for the local church?  Will I just keep my head down and get my degree all the while ignoring all that is going on around me?  Will I try to aspire to one of these positions of peacemaker?  Only time will tell I suppose and right now all three paths seem plausible to me.

Maybe I will just keep posting  little ditties about my man purse. 

My last posting was the subject of someone else's blog a few days ago and the traffic on this blog picked up considerably!  I had as many hits in a few days as I usually do in a whole month.  Pretty Cool....

The weakness of MSN Spaces was glaring, however.  Even though the visitors were the type who leaves comments, there were none.  I believe this is due to the difficulty of leaving a comment without an MSN Passport.  Without a Passport, who must be anonymous, and that is not something most of these other bloggers like to do.

The comments on the "thin edge of the wedge" blog were encouraging and a good discussion came of the post.  I added to the comments myself and had some interesting responses.  It is really fantastic to be able to have a dialogue with people from all over the SBC about these important issues.  I would also like to uphold the virtues of blogging itself.  Blogging provides an unvarnished report of events within the SBC that are not edited by our convention controlled press.  Some blogs can get vicious and I doubt the accuracy of others, but as I have been trolling the other Blogs about the happenings in this week's Southern Baptist Convention, I have found that the majority of bloggers are responsible in their reporting of events.

For example, I found out from the bloggers that there were rumors that Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary was going to offer a Home Economics courses for the wives of seminary students and that this rumor was confirmed by the President of the Seminary, Paige Patterson!  I can only imagine how some of the ladies at the convention are reacting!  This information is too funny and would never be covered by the Baptist Press (who servers seem to be down during the week of the convention!) Don't get me wrong, there is not a husband out there that would not love for his wife to cook and clean better, but I am more excited about the theology and counseling class that Tracy is going to take down at the SBTS seminary wives institute.   I can't wait to tell Tracy about these classes! I can only imagine how she will react!  Perhaps they will offer cosmetology classes so that all of our wives can have really big Southern Baptist hair like Beth Moore!  LOL good stuff...

I have been reformed in my theology ever since my conversion. For the first part of my Christian life I was unaware that there was a name for this line of thought and I certainly had no idea that there were so many people opposed to this theology. As I have become more articulate in the expression of my faith, better educated in the Holy Scriptures and more aware the placement of Reformation Theology in the continuum of Christian thought, the more I am exposed to those who are rabidly opposed to the idea that God is sovereign over all things, including salvation.

For many years now I have been embattled over these issues in the local church with no intention of being divisive. On the contrary, the more I come to understand about the nature of God the more humbled I am about my own righteousness and certainly laid low concerning my own ability to "win" someone to Christ. In my naivety, I pressed forward with the message that salvation is entirely a work of God and that by His grace He allows us to be instruments of His sovereignty in the preaching of the Gospel to the lost. I was unprepared for the reaction that I would get from preaching such things in the local church. The reactions to the Doctrines of Grace ranged from confusion to anger among many people and others, primarily those who were recent converts, saw these teachings as a natural extension of God's character.

My initial reaction to this resistance was an ungodly defensiveness that even led to me ripping Romans Chapter 9 from my Bible and throwing it to the floor in anger. This was not one of my crowning moments as a pastor, but it led me to consider Paul's instruction to 2 Timothy 4:2, "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." I began to understand that grace runs contrary to the fleshly nature and that this reaction was bound to come. I also understood that it was my responsibility as a teacher of God's church, to do what I was called to do: teach and to do so with all patience. Most Baptist have not been carefully taught in a deliberate and systematic manner concerning the fundamentals of the faith and I have resigned myself to this fact. With this being said, I have found that I am not alone in this dilemma.

I have never been "in the loop" with the happenings of the Southern Baptist Convention outside of the party line writings of my state convention newspaper. I was not raised Baptist and I did not attend seminary, so I have been fairly insulated, to say the least, from much of what has gone on in the past 12 years. What I have discovered in the last two years is that the exact same issues that I have been struggling with in my local church seems to be happening all over the convention. I read the Founders blog today and was shocked at the actions of the Florida State Convention toward "Calvinist" in the state of Florida. I read, in horror, that my battles here might be just the beginning of what I face after I graduate from seminary. Go read this blog entry entitled Denominational integrity and controversy in the Florida Baptist Convention and the post previous to that posting about the Floridia Baptist Convention's anti-Calvinist mailing and return for some of my thoughts about the Founders Ministries.

In the twelve years I have been a pastor in SBC churches I have been to many State associational training events and rallies. For example, I went to a State Evangelism event that focused several hours on the demographics of Baby Boomers and Gen-X people (of which I am one) and how the church has to alter itself to reach different groups. This is all fine and good, or so I am told, but it was far from inspirational or edifying to my soul. In fact, I was left with the idea that I had to become some sort of marketing guru to be a successful pastor. On the other hand I have been to four Founders Midwest Conferences in St. Peters Missouri. These conferences were like none other that I have ever been too before. At these conferences I was confronted with the great truths of the scriptures presented by men who were both learned and passionate about Jesus. I was amazed at the the Spirit's movement as we worshiped together at St. Peter's Baptist Church and I was even more shocked at the incredible conversations on the lips of the pastors who attended this conference. There was none of the posturing that I have experienced at State events and Annual Meetings. There was no comparing the sizes of our "ministries" and there was none of the superficial chit chat that I have come to avoid. Instead, there were dozens and dozens of men talking about the things of God and his Word. Most importantly, there were no secret plots to overturn the SBC being hatched as is alluded to by many Founders Ministry detractors. The founders do not even have a secret handshake, or at least they have not showed it to me! Founders conferences have been a lifeline to me in times when I felt totally alone in my convictions.

My recommendation for any Southern Baptist who is concerned about the "Calvinist" who are trying to take over the SBC is to attend a regular Baptist conference of some kind and then attend one of the various Founders conference that are offered throughout the year and come to your own conclusion about the direction that our churches need to go. You don't have to look much past the book table at a Founders Conference to understand the depth of their theological underpinnings and the historical Baptist lineage they attempt to represent. Reformed theology is no latter day fad that the SBC is going through, the return to Reformed Theology it is a hard look at how our shallow teaching has lead to unprepared and undisciplined Christians. Ironically, the most common criticism that is leveled against Reformed Theology is that it "kills evangelism" and our own publishing arm, Lifeway Christian Resources, lifted the concept of FAITH evangelism training from Evangelism Explosion. EE was developed by a 5 Point Calvinist: D. James Kennedy! The most evangelistic men that I know hold to the Doctrines of Grace! How can this be? These men understand that it is God who does the saving, not our church growth techniques or our cleverness of speech.

On a personal note, I have began to prepare myself spiritually for the fact that leaving my church and going to Seminary is not going to be the end of this struggle for me. I see many resumes being posted by men who want to preach in churches that hold to the Doctrines of Grace and I cannot help but to think that these churches are few and far between. This action by the State Convention of Florida tells me that this is just the beginning of a widening chasm in the Convention and that being a graduate of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary at Louisville (which holds to a reformed position in its Abstract of Principles) will not be an asset to my "career!" But I am most assured that being a graduate of SBTS will be an asset to my soul and integrity as a pastor. If someone like Dr. Tom Nettles or Dr. Albert Mohler is considered a heretic then I am gravely concerned about what the future holds for the Southern Baptist Convention. Will there be a Calvinism litmus test instituted at our mission boards? Can our state conventions distribute anti-Calvinist literature when our flagship seminary is unashamedly Calvinistic and headed up by a 5 point Seminary President? I sense a real conflict looming on the horizon brothers.

I was having a conversation with my friend Kevin about the 2008 election and the various candidates that are running in the primaries.  This reminded me of a story from the 1992 primary race for the Democratic candidate.

(Fade Out.....)

(Fade In...) 

It is 1992 and I am a Political Science major at Southern Illinois University.  Bill Clinton was running in the primaries and he had a scheduled stop at SIU and I, like most of the political science department went to the Student Center Ballrooms to hear his speech.  The ballrooms have multiple entrances and as I stood in line to get in, I tried one of the other doors (I have never had a herd mentality).  The door took me to right in front of the stage that he would be speaking. My friend, Michelle Kress, and I walk in and got a prime location. 

The opening act for Bill Clinton was a local bluegrass band called Carter and Connolly.  Carter and Connolly was your prototypical Carbondale ex-hippie roots music sort of band with a truly annoying forced folksy down hominess. These were the kind of guys who sang about saving the rain forest (that was big in the nineties, now the whole earth is apparently in jeopardy) while strumming on their rare tropical wood geee-tars.  I have never been a big bluegrass fan myself and after this day was over I would just as soon gouge my eyes out than hear another bluegrass band.  (foreshadowing)

Governor Clinton was running very late for this engagement so the band played set after set after set after set of bluegrass music as I stood with my ear next to the speaker in the front row next to the stage.  The constant droning of the fiddles and banjos in combination with the smell of patchouli (a scented oil that hippies use in lieu of bathing) began to make me swoon.  Just when I thought that I had entered my own private bluegrass hell.  Mrs. Clinton stepped in to stall for Mr. Clinton.  her speech was nice and all, but I do not remember much about it other than it saved me from sure mental and emotional damage at the hands of these faux-folksies. 

The Governor finally arrived and gave a decent campaign speech geared to the crowd at hand, but he did not have much time because of a later engagement.  He cut the speech short so that he could walk down into the crowd and shake hands.  Now the stories that you hear about the man's personal charm in one on one situations is absolutely correct.  Here I was, a young Reganite, and I was absolutely mesmerized by the man. Clinton seemed to thrive off the crowd and began to shake hands with the entire front row of people that had crushed against the stage. He got to me and shook my hand with a firm grip.  Just then, a guy stuck his hand over my shoulder to shake hands with Clinton and when the Governor reached for this hand he poked me right in the eye!  I cup my hand over the poked eye and said "ahhhhhhrg!" 

"Oh, I am sorry sir, are you Ok?"  Gov. Clinton said with real empathy.

"Yes, I am fine,"  I quickly said, " and can you talk to me about missile defense and its potential violation of various ABM treaties with the Soviets?"

Out of an obvious sense of guilt,  Governor Clinton stood there and patiently gave me a fully formed and extensive answer about his position on missile defense systems.  I was so impressed (and so young) that I cast a vote for Clinton in my first and only Democratic Primary and cast my first vote for President (I was too young for the 1988 election) for Bill Clinton.  I would pass through this liberal phase in my life quickly when it became clear to me that hippie girls and I were not going to hit it off, I really could not stand bluegrass music, and that the rainforest was not really on my priority list.

Kaiser is my boy. Kaiser is seven years old and probably does not weigh 45 lbs wet. The answer is simple, really: The kid never eats! I realize that the "clean your plate" syndrome probably has something to do with my current battle with the waistline, but I have to draw the line somewhere with Kaiser and tonight was our battle! Tracy and the girls were off at dance practice and I had fixed an incredibly good meal of Grilled Salmon with tomatoes, onions, and parsley with a side of grilled asparagus. A healthy, well balanced meal and I was bound and determined that Kaiser was going to eat it!

I started with the classic, you cannot go out an play until you eat this supper, but Kaiser quickly countered with the "that's OK, I don't want to play anyway." He had me against the ropes until I noticed the water gun that he had left on the counter. As I sat there eating my delicious salmon, I had the water gun trained on Kaiser's face. I held him hostage until he ate all of his fish! I threatened to douse him of he did not eat every last bite. It worked! He even enjoyed the salmon as I promised he would. The asparagus took a different tactic however. I had to tell him that his pee would smell funny if he ate all of his asparagus. That did the trick and he ate it all!

After four children you no longer have the patience for diplomacy or the time to mess around with a kid sitting at the table for 2 hours. This is my Malcolm X theory of parenting: "By any means necessary..."

I am currently teaching myself the necessary skills to take Fear and Trembling to a privately hosted site.  My friend Kevin gave me a great resource (right here) that will help me learn some of the basic code that I will need to make my blog as visually stimulating and functional as I would like it to be.  Specifically, I am learning HTML, XTML, and CSS.  Sounds impressive doesn't it?  Well, it has been slow going and the last time I wrote a program it was on a Radio Shack TRS-80 in the 1980s !

One of the reasons that I am taking the site off of MSN Spaces is the difficulty that I have had getting comments about my post.  When someone without a MSN Passport tries to leave a comment (most of the known world), they usually give up since they do not want to sign up for one.  They can leave one anyway, but it is posted as "No Name."   This is just not conducive for continuing dialogues on important issues of the day (like whether or not my friend Jason should wear a beret)  I am also looking for my visual flexibility than MSN Spaces can provide.  There are some outstanding blogs that look really great too and I want Fear and Trembling to be that kind of site

I am also making the assumption that as my life goes through a major change (going to The Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville) that my blog will also change in nature somewhat.  I will have a new job, a school, a new church and an entirely different focus to my life.  The further I get into my theological studies, the more likely it is that I will be commenting on issues that I am dealing with in my courses.  Do not fear, I will be sure and give family updates, photos and postings that address some of the interesting minutia that I encounter in Louisville.  There are plenty of sites that are as serious as a heart attack and I want to be able to break the tension now and again. 

I have some specific goals for my blog as well. 

1.  Triple my readership in 2008. 

2.  Provide more resources for those who share the same interest that I do. 

3.  Create a visually appealing blog that is functional as well. 

4.  Create and maintain a bulletin board for topics that have more legs than just a comment to a blog.

5.  Get connected to the larger Blogosphere and get Fear and Trembling noticed.

What would you like to see on Fear and Trembling?  Oh.... that's right, you cannot easily comment on this blog!

Don't worry yourselves about these changes.  The web address will remain the same (in addition to some other addresses that I have purchased over the years) and one day you will wake up to find Fear and Trembling has transformed into a beauuuutiful butter-fly....