The general consensus on this morning's news programs is that Mike Huckabee came out pretty good last night considering the opening round blows between Guiliani and Romney.  Huckabee did show his sense of humor again, but that humor was clearly backed up with some substance.  I also think that John McCain did very well and I was impressed on his answer to the question of torture.  This is the difference between Romney and McCain:  McCain has the courage to stand his ground on issues that may not be popular with his base.  Romney's positions are, to say the least, fluid depending on the political context.  I accepted and believed Romney when he said that he changed his mind on the abortion issue, but it was clear that Romney is trying to paint himself as a "true conservative" when in fact he is fairly moderate.  I am not opposed to many of these moderate positions, but I want a candidate that will own up to them instead of trying to avoid them.  Romney and Huckabee were both state governors who had to operate in a traditionally progressive states, but Huckabee has directly stated that this was the case and explained why this caused him to compromise on many issues.  It takes compromise to govern.

As far as Guiliani is concerned, it is bothersome that no one seems to be concerned about the his marital history.  I realize that after Bill Clinton's Presidency that this issue has been deemed irrelevant by most voters, but there is a direct connection between his adultery issue and the questions posed by the young black man concerning black on black violence.  This may seem like a stretch, but in fact, there is a direct correlation between the break down of the traditional family structure and crime.  68% of all black children are born into single parent homes!  Guiliani has the money and power to buffer the effects of his extra-marital activities and divorces, but in lower class homes like mine and millions of other homes, divorce and other break downs of the Dad and Mom family structure is financially devastating and leads to children being plunged into desperate economic situations. Desperate economic situations and lack of family stability leads to crime.  Over half of my ministry has been dealing with the consequences of divorce, adultery, premarital pregnancy and other family.  Family break-down is not limited to the Black community, it is just more pronounced. 

On the tax situation, all of the candidates took the "cut all taxes" position that are expected from most Republican primary candidates, but Mike Huckabee has a specific tax plan that would abolish the IRS and replace the income tax with national sales tax.  I have some concerns about this plan, but the next President will probably have a Democratic congress who will never pass such a plan, so I would rather see Huckabee develop a position that is do-able.  Our tax code is positively Byzantine and although I am highly educated, I find myself jumping up and down, swearing and moaning every time that I have to fill out my tax forms and pour over the tax code. The irony about the current tax plan is that at my income level I do not actually have to pay any income taxes but have to spend hours and hours to come to this conclusion!  I want a tax code that dismantles the symbiotic industries of tax preparers and  the Internal Revenue Service.  Taxes are not inherently evil (give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's) but we need a smart tax code that does not penalize success and does not add undo burden upon citizens.  I plugged my family's situation into the FairTax scheme and we would neither benefit or be harmed directly under the plan, but I would certainly have to do less paperwork!

In the final decision on who to choose as the Republican candidate, Republicans must consider who can beat Hilary Clinton in a Presidential Election.  The Republicans must address a wide range of social issues that seem to be monopolized by the Democrats.  A young single mother that I work with is going to vote for Hilary Clinton because she believes that her life will be better under her leadership than a Republican.  The next Republican candidate is going to need the votes of us on the lower end of the economic scale and I believe that Huckabee can address these issues with the "compassionate conservatism" that never seemed to materialize out of the last administration.  Did the war short circuit this conservative social program or was it merely a political slogan?  I guess we will never know, but this time around I want a Republican President that will provide strong leadership on issues such as the environment, poverty, education, immigration (before this issue spirals out of control), and right to life ethics and stop letting the left steal away these issues.  As far as I can tell so far, Mike Huckabee is willing and able to do this.

I am now watching the Republican CNN/YouTube debate and during the commercials I want to make an update to THIS THEORY about the end of Battlestar Galactica this season.  I also think it is appropriate considering the last post and the fact that Battlestar is rife with Mormon theology.  I am holding strong to the post that I wrote back in May and this latest made for TV movie (Razor) supports my theory.

In the final moments Razor, we see the Colonials attacking a Cylon Base that was protected by older style Cylon raiders and Cylon Centurions.  In that base was a Cylon hybrid that spoke to one of the Colonial officers.  This hybrid warned the officer not to trust Starbuck because she was going to lead the fleet into destruction.  This is in direct reference to the last episode of last season when Starbuck showed up claiming to have been to Earth after her apparent destruction. So here is what it all means...

1.  The older style Cylons have obviously been separated from the rest of the Cylons

2.  This difference between the New and Old Cylons must come from dramatic event that sent the new   Cylons on a different path of development and left behind this other group.

3.  The dramatic event is the contact that was made between the "Earth Cylons" the Colonial Cylons       (SEE PREVIOUS POST)

4. Starbuck is being used by the "Earth Cylons"  (although she does not know it), the Final Five are tools of the "Earth Cylons"

Strangely, I get more Google hits on Fear and Trembling  from my Battlestar Galactica post than any other single topic!  This does not mean that I am going to make this ALL BSG ALL THE TIME, but maybe the Sci-Fi fans of the world will come to this site and find more than they expected!

I will be posting about the debates tomorrow after I have time to digest what has gone on this evening.

I made a statement in an earlier post about not being able vote for Mitt Romney because he is a Mormon and my friend Kevin has shown interest in a clarification of this statement.  On the surface it might seem like a fairly reactionary and bigoted position, but it has nothing to do with politics, per se, and everything to do with my own faith in Christ.  My inability to vote for a Mormon is 100% theological in nature.

First, Mormons, despite their claims, are not Christians.  Although they claim fellowship with Jesus Christ, he is not the Jesus Christ that I follow.  The Mormon Jesus is not both fully God and fully man,  is a created being (the brother of Lucifer, no less), he was sinful at one time, he earned his salvation, was conceived from a sexual act, and was a married man with multiple wives.  These theological tenants alone are sufficient to disqualify a person, regardless of their claims, as a Christian.  I would more readily vote for a man who denied Christ entirely than I could a man who held to such beliefs about Jesus.  Jesus asks an important question in the Gospels...

And Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi. And on the way he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” And they told him, “John the Baptist; and others say, Elijah; and others, one of the prophets.” And he asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Christ.”

So regardless of the hundreds of other heretical and strange teaching that are held by the Church of Latter Day Saints,  It is their answer to Jesus's question above that determines their standing with Christ.  I will not give my vote to a man, who by the nature of his potential influence, gives more legitimacy to a religion that spreads its heresy in the name of Jesus Christ.  There can be no fellowship between Christ and Belial and there is no place in the larger community of Christian churches for the Church of Latter Day Saints.

Many would say that Mitt Romney's position on social issues has enough commonality with Evangelical Christians to warrant our support, but it is the Gospel that brings change to men's hearts, not clean living and high morality.  The Christian Right (again, for lack of a better term) needs to tend first to their commission by Christ to be witnesses of Him and let their politics follow, not the other way around.  I am not voting for Huckabee because he is a Southern Baptist, but at least I know what he confesses about Christ is the same thing that I confess about Christ. 

The next question that might be asked is "Can you vote for Marie Osmond on Dancing with the stars?"  Yes,  I think in good conscience I could vote for Marie Osmond based on her dancing ability alone without considering her Mormon faith.  My biggest problem with Marie Osmond is that she is "a little bit country", I have always been, "little bit Rock and Roll"

JKK

This article demonstrates Huckabee's focus on the abortion debate.  This debate has a tendency to diverge from the core question:  Is a human fetus afforded protection under the Unites States Constitution?   Huckabee has an internal consistency that is rare among most Republicans who often sidestep the question by appealing to "state's rights."  Huckabee states that abortion if abortion is wrong (or right) then it is wrong universally regardless of a particular State's laws.  The essence of the Constitution is that it provides protections that trumps the rights of states to pass laws.  It is for this reason that Jim Crow laws were overturned and hundreds of other state laws were overturned by the Supreme Court.  If abortion is wrong then it is wrong for all 50 states.

Another common red herring in this debate is the rape and incest exception.  If a human fetus is a life worthy of protection under the law, then the circumstances of that citizen's creation is irrelevant to the question of legal protection.  As horrible as rape and incest are, the life of the child is no less valuable.  This is not only true for rape and incest, but also in cases in which the baby has some sort of abnormality such as Down's Syndrome.  Down's Syndrome children are no less valuable than any other children and arguments for their termination based on economics or amorphous arguments about "quality of life" drip with utilitarian brutality (even a life of poverty is touted as justification for abortion).  God help those who come out on the wrong side of the utilitarian equation.  Again, the United States Constitution protects the minority from the tyranny of the majority.  It is this tyranny of the majority that is held at bay by the Bill of Rights.

I am disappointed in  the recent endorsement of Fred Thompson by the National Right to Life in the same way that I was when Pat Robertson endorsed Rudy Giuliani.  The NRLC and Pat Robertson demonstrated a clear desire to remain power brokers rather than endorsing the candidate that most closely reflects their position.  The "Christian Right" (whatever that is!) will quickly lose influence when it diluted by pragmatism on core issues.  I am pragmatic on many issues but only on issues in which the scriptures allow for a wide range of latitude.  The sanctity of life is not one of those issues.  Taxes, immigration, national security, environmental concerns, Social Security and the war in Iraq are all issues that I can be swayed by arguments from different quarters, but the right to life needs a laser-like focus of the fundamental question of whether or not a fetus is a human life.  The consequences of this answer determines the policy that follows.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since it seems to have a lot less stress than Christmas.  It has all of the family time without all of the shopping and large outlays of cash!  We are heading back to Mattoon for the holiday and the kids have been wound up for a week about seeing Grandma and Grandpa.  Eleanor was even signing "Grandpa" last night (Sorry Grandma).  I am hoping to get some shooting in because I have not found a place down here yet.  Tracy even wants to shoot my Springfield XD .45 so I should have plenty of "hot chick with a gun" pictures to post next week.  Kaiser has also been reminding me that I would by him a .22 rifle if his reading skills improve.  Since starting at an excellent school here in Louisville, his reading skills (that were undermined by his last school) have gone through the roof!

Was his reading problems really the fault of the school, you ask?  Well, he received nothing but the highest grade of "E" the entire year and then the teacher recommended a remedial reading program at the end of the year when a state reading test identified that he was well behind where he needed to be.  How do you get the highest grade possible and still need a remedial reading program? It opened our eyes and we started to work extra hard to get Kaiser over his reading problems.  This school in Louisville actually focused on phonics instead of giving Kaiser a list of 150 words that he needs to recognize "by sight."  Anyway, he is well on his way now and I am going to get him a little "youth .22" that he can shoot when he is at grandpa's house.

Have a good Thanksgiving,  Fear and Trembling readers...

JKK

I have been paying close attention to the Presidential race and one of the most persistent issues has been the one of illegal immigration.  The debate has been the kind of populist rhetoric that does nothing to make a significant difference in this problem.  On one side there are those who want to give drivers licenses to illegal immigrants and on the other there are those who believe that the best course of action is to, somehow, remove the 6 million illegal immigrants.  I believe that this problem needs a pragmatic approach that takes into consideration the complexities of this issue. There must be reform on all sides of this problem based on the following assumptions.

1.  Immigrants, legal or illegal, are people who have worth and are deserving of basic respect.  Racism has no place in this debate.  Much of this debate is driven by racism against Mexicans (other Latinos too, but most people just call them all "Mexicans")

2. Immigrants play, and have always played, an important role in our country's culture and economy.

3. Entering the country illegally is wrong.

4. There is no way to remove 6 million people from our boarders.

5. The United States needs to have more secure boarders.

6.  A person who is invested in their community is a better citizen and contributes to the greater whole.

Working in restaurants as much as I have over the past 20 years, I have worked with a great number of Latino workers who are here to make a better life for themselves and their family.  Most of these men and women over the years have been law abiding (apart from their illegal entry into the country) and hard working.  We need a system in our country that makes it easier to legitimize these kinds of people and this system goes hand in hand with a way to deport those who are not willing to follow along with this guest worker system or those who are not law abiding. Wave after wave of immigrants have come to the United States and carved themselves a niche in our society and the key to their success has been their inclusion into the culture.  Our current system creates an underworld of people are disenfranchised.  Disenfranchised people do not pay taxes, they do not involve themselves in the larger culture, they commit more crimes, and they never reach their full potential.

What is the answer?  Serious reform that attacks the problem on 2 fronts.  The first front is that the government needs an efficient and timely system to legitimize, document and keep track of guest workers.  Second, we need to strengthen the security at the boarders.  If there is a legal pathway for people to work in the U.S., then securing the boarders will be significantly easier.  If there is economic stability in Mexico and the rest of Central America, boarder security will be easier.  If there is a economic incentive for employers to use only documented workers, then that will help boarder security.  There are a lot of interest involved in making a dent in this problem and populist sentiments of "send them all back to Mexico" or, on the other extreme, "Make sanctuary cities" are not going to work. 

Here is a video of Mike Huckabee on Charlie Rose speaking on this issue.

SBTS, by any measure is a fantastic school, but that is not to say that I have not have difficulties in my first semester here.  There are many changes that I am going to have to make in my approach to make next semester more spiritually and academically profitable.  I have to continually remind myself why I came to Louisville in the first place.  I came to Louisville to further my education and to take my ministry to the next level.  This is too easy to forget at times with the crush of everyday life and the responsibilities that come with being a father and husband.

First,  I have had some difficulties dealing with some of the class formats and expectations.  In my undergraduate classes I was able to "actively listen" to lectures without taking notes and still do well on test that were given to me.  In my Christian History class, taught by Dr. Nettles, there is an higher expectation of detailed knowledge that comes from the lectures alone.  As a conceptual thinker, I sometimes skip over "lists of particulars" that are important in history classes.  Dr. Nettles' lectures are fantastic, but I find that I am not prepared to take the kind of detailed notes that are necessary for his test.  More importantly, if I do make detailed notes, I lose the enjoyment that comes from a good lecture and I have difficulty studying such notes.  This is something that I will have to overcome.

Secondly, my theology class, taught by Dr. Moore, is well suited for my learning style and I generally do not need to take notes since Dr. Moore lectures in such a way that the concepts are emphasized over the details.  The problem with this class, however, is the research paper that is due at the end of the semester.  The skills that make someone a good preacher, like being able to eject academic flotsam and jetsam from your oral presentation of the sermon, can hurt you when detailed citation is needed.  Rarely would I quote a non-biblical source in a sermon although I might have been directed by non-biblical Christian writers in the formation of a sermon.  I am currently writing a paper on the use of creeds and confessions in Evangelical theology, and although I can build up a case for or against creeds from "scratch", I am having difficulty citing other sources in my paper.  I feel as if I am writing the paper and then going back into other sources to back up my thesis.  This is not the proper method of writing a position paper.  I have a great deal of anecdotal evidence of anti-creedalism in Baptist life, but I cannot hardly quote "a guy I know" as an academically legitimate source. 

Third,  I fell behind in my Greek class due to some serious illness over the course of the semester and could not ever really catch up.  I had to drop the class and will take another run at it in a different semester.  If you do not put 3 hours a day into that class, you will not have the kind of success that most theologians want out of a biblical language class.  What I did in the class, I did well, but the two weeks of no studying put me hopelessly behind the eight ball.  Much of Koine Greek is just mechanical, nose to the grind stone learning.  Without the proper amount of time put in, you are done.  At the primary levels of Greek there is little connection to your other classes and you do not have the kind of convergence that I saw with my other classes.  Greek is just out there on its own.

The overarching problem with the semester was one of scheduling.  I made my class schedule and made decisions about class load with absolutely no idea of what my wife's work schedule and my children's school schedule would be like.  I also had no real idea of what amount of hours I would need to work to keep the family afloat financially.  Although I had made detailed plans to move to Louisville, there were just too many unknown variables that could not be planned for effectively.  For example, I did not realize how long it would take to get back in the Army, which affected my National Guard scholarship, which forced me to work more hours, which limited my sleep, which led to my persistent illness, which affected my school work and family life.  There are certainly more unknown variables on the horizon, but I have finally gotten the ship of family finances righted and heading in the right direction.  Instead of working 5 days a week and spending less than 2 on school, I am going to totally up-end that pattern by working only 2 days a week next semester and spending 5 days on school.  I have to treat school like my full-time job because I did not come down here to sling meatballs and lasagna.

Finally, there is a bitter irony about being a seminary student at SBTS: There is almost no time for a man with a family to make connections with fellow students or professors.  I had a short, but profitable conversation with the man across the street from me about anti-creedalism and I quickly began to lament my lack of interaction with anyone this entire semester.  I feel less connected here at SBTS than I ever did when I was in undergraduate classes.  Much of my learning comes from direct interaction and a class of 200 people is no place to have a substantive discussion.  I am going to make sure that I take class with less people in them next semester and that those classes are scheduled in a way that makes best use of my daytime hours.  Being a nighthawk is fine for a younger man, but in the evening I just want to spend time with my family at home and not holed up in some coffeehouse after working all day. Besides, all of these coffee houses on my street are filled up with Christians who attend the seminary.  Where are all the reprobates that I need to minister too?

It may seems like a dire report from SBTS, but I am trying to be as honest with myself as possible so I can make the necessary changes to my life next semester. 

1.  I can no longer coast on my natural talents, I actually need to study now.

2.  I am limited physically and cannot just "put in more hours." This will lead to my physical breakdown

3.  I need to arrange my schedule to maximize school time and limit working hours.

4.  I need to remember why I am here! 

As I get older and the time that have left is less and less, I am learning to examine myself more often for the purpose of course corrections.  The further that you get down the road and the more responsibility that you bear, the less margin of error that you have.  For example, as a young man with a wide open future, no one but yourself to take care of and little in the way of a past decisions to limit me, I could coast through circumstances unscathed and still have plenty of time to recover.  Now, as a man of 36, with a wife, four children, and a whole corpus of both wise and unwise decisions in my wake, every decision holds more weight and consequence. 

So as I approach the end of my first semester at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, I need to take a long, hard look at how things are progressing so I can make needed changes.  As I said above, I am making decisions that will affect not only myself, but also my family.  Am I leading my family in the right direction?  Am I giving my children and wife what they need to succeed? (the definition of success being something that needs to be defined itself!)  There are many areas that need to be considered and I am a firm believer in the unity of man.  The unity of man meaning that we are not neatly subdivided into various roles and the different areas of our life are all interconnected. Join me as I make this examination public and perhaps readers can gain some insight into the struggles that face a pastor.

Despite my statement about the unity of man, I am compelled to force some sort of divisions upon my life for the purpose of organization and focus.  let's use the classic categories of

1. Family

2. Church

3. School

4. Military

5. Work

Over and above all of these categories is who I am in Christ within these particular contexts. There has to be a concentrated effort to "take captive" every thought for Christ and not remove Him from any area of my life or vainly attempt to create a personal enclave untouched by Him.  This may seem like a strange reference for many of you, but the Dune series of science fiction books had what was called a "no ship" in which those inside of the ship could not be detected by various prescient beings who scanned the universe for particular individuals.  There is no place one can go to escape God's presence regardless of our attempts to fashion such a cubby to hide. 

As I wrote the above list, I had to make a deliberate effort to order them properly.  The order in which they appear does not imply a particular emphasis in my current life, although it probably should be as it is above.  I have also realized that this is a perfect opportunity to create a series of blog post instead of trying to cram this all into one long post that most people will not take the time and effort to read.  The purpose of blogging is, after all, to be read, not just to empty myself upon the page for some self-indulgent catharsis.  I also need to consult with my wife on several of these issues, especially the family category and get her insight about our current state.  I may be head of my household, but I am wise enough to listen to her counsel and insights. 

Tomorrow I will start with the school section because it is what is most pressing upon me during these final weeks of the semester and the area that needs most prayer, consideration and action. ..

JKK

I have been watching the political scene much more closely than in the past 10 years.  Last year I posted about Mike Huckabee as a candidate for President, but as time marched on it started to look as if his campaign was going to be overshadowed by high dollar campaigns such as Giuliani's.  However, in recent days Huckabee is getting much more play on the news shows and has been rising in the Iowa polls.  The more time that Huckabee gets in front of the cameras. the more that people will see that he is intelligent, lucid, relaxed, humorous and a viable alternative to the rest of the Republican field.  Huckabee was an incredibly successful Governor in Arkansas and even made great strides in reaching out to black voters.  There is some dispute about the percentage of black voters that Huckabee received in his last election, ranging for 20% to 48%,  but even the low end of 20% is a huge margin over most republican candidates. 

Thompson has shown no particular spark,  I cannot vote for the first Mormon president (post on this to come later), Guiliani is too liberal and too hawkish at the same time (only a New Yorker can pull that off) and I have never thought that McCain had the temperament to be the President of the United States.  Huckabee is much more than just a "former preacher", he is a well rounded candidate with positions that are not reactionary rhetoric determined by populist sentiment.  For the first time, I have decided to give money to a Presidential campaign and after I finish this post I am going to go to the Huckabee website and donate.  I am also officially giving the Fear and Trembling endorsement to Gov. Mike Huckabee.  Guiliani might have gotten Pat Robertson (how that happened, I don't know), but Mike Huckabee has J Kent Kroencke in his corner!  Huckabee is the kind of Evangelical that addresses a wide range of public policy instead hammering on just two or three. 

There has been a lot of talk about strategies to reduce global warming.  One of these strategies is a global tax on carbon.  Why is it that all the responsibility of of saving the environment put on the backs of elements that don't have the atomic weight to throw around Washington?  At a meager 12, Carbon takes all the heat while Osmium (190) and Thallium (204) slip under the taxman's radar.  Carbon is all over the headlines while the "noble gases"  live stable lives on the front edge of the elements. This is a slippery slope that will lead to more of the elements on the bottom end being taxed into oblivion.  What's next?  A tax on Na (11)?  At that point the real salt of the Earth will suffer.

I weighed in this morning at an acceptable 205.  Fear and Trembling readers will remember this post in which I bemoaned that I was tipping the scales at 252 lbs!  This was long before I considered re-joining the National Guard, but I had to lose the weight regardless of my need to pass a weight standard. As spring came around I got added incentive when I started to go to the MEPS Station for processing to try and pass the "tape test" for my re-entry processing.  When I made the move to Louisville, I started to serve tables at Olive Garden and the extra exercise helped me get to the current weight of 205. 

Now I am entering a second phase of my weight loss and fitness.  I have to take a PT test in January at my National Guard unit and I will be expected to take PT test at the Chaplain School in June.  I not only want to pass these test, but score the maximum number of points.  the ARMY APFT (Annual Physical Fitness Test) consist of the number of push-ups and sit-ups done in two minute blocks and a timed 2 mile run.  The push-ups max out in points at 75 in two minutes with a passing score being 38.  The sit-ups max out at 76 and have a passing mark of 42.  The two mile runs has a max time of 13:18 and a passing mark of 17:42.  These numbers are all dependent on age and when I turn 37 in April, they will go down slightly. 

For the past two nights I have done some diagnostic sets to see where I am at on the charts.  For both  push-ups and sit-ups, I did only 23 in both categories.  This may seem pretty low, but I have not done these two particular exercises in many years.  As physical training usually goes, I am sure that with regular training I will quickly move to the passing numbers and then make slow gains towards the max scores.  As for the run, I will probably do a diagnostic run this evening and it just happens to be exactly two miles from my house to the coffeehouse and back (I reckon all distances in units of distance to coffee,  I am taking suggestions for names of these units).  I am not as worried about the run as I am the other two categories.  I have done a lot of running on and off over the years and even when I was my heaviest, I could always punch out a decent run. 

Why do I want to max out the score?  I have finally made connection between promotion and PT scores.  I have seen numbers that a solider is 700% more likely to be promoted with good scores that barley passing scores.  There is also the practical consideration of deployment to consider.  Top physical condition is important for mental health, battle preparedness, and overall readiness in a combat theatre. Why does a chaplain need to be battle ready?  The unit I am in now is a support unit, but I could easily be deployed with a frontline combat unit and the chaplain needs to be where the soldiers are.  If the soldiers are always out on patrol, then the chaplain needs to make sure that he or she is right along with them in the situations that they are dealing with daily.  In addition, a fit solider looks more professional, better in uniform, and more "squared away" overall.

What is the plan?  I am going to focus on all "functional" type exercises that are based on actual physical task of agility and strength instead of weights and other isolated exercises.  Second, I need to lose that last 20 lbs that I do not need to be lifting and propelling in the PT test.  Imagine carrying a sand bag around with you as you do the test and the advantages of being slimmer will be apparent.  This weight lose will also mean a little loss of muscle bulk that has come from weight lifting, but I don't mind ,losing a bit off my chest and biceps if it means that I can be stronger proportionately to my body weight. I have been involving the kids in my project and it will be fun to have them gauge my progress. The test is January 12th which gives me about 8 weeks of preparation.  Perhaps I will add a "feats of strength" segment to our Thanksgiving holiday

I went to National Guard duty this weekend and, in contrast to my past enlistment, it was a refreshing experience on many levels.  First of all, I have decided to treat the four hour drive as needed time for quiet reflection and prayer.  How else could I continue that trek every month?  With the addition of my digital recorder, the time could also be used in way to make the drive corporeally productive as well.  As a preacher,  the talking out of issues has become second nature, even it is with myself.

Second, we had some outstanding training this weekend.  After some required Friday night classes on map reading and radio operation, we actually went out to the woods and ran through a land navigation course with radio checks, 9 line medivacs.  This is a much different experience than in the early 90s when someone in the unit was thrown a manual and told to teach a class in 10 minutes just to keep the enlisted personnel busy.  There is a greater seriousness about training to be sure.  I also enjoyed getting some exercise in the woods on a beautiful fall day and had a good time with my team comprised of the Company Commander, the S-3 and a Master Sergeant.

We also had a short briefing on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and its effects on soldiers.  A troubling statistic is that the National Guard lost almost as many people to suicide as they did combat.  I was glad to see that this unit of mine took the briefing seriously and there was a lot of feedback from several soldiers who have experienced deployments and known soldiers that have suffered through PTSD.  I found myself questioning if there was any way to really prepare soldiers for combat stress or whether the briefing was aimed at giving information about treatments.  One way or the other I am going to have to work through this issue and how it relates to my ministry as a chaplain. 

I have no answers to this problem, but I am working through the right questions to ask and this it an important start:

1.  Is there any sort of spiritual or psychological preparation that can decrease the occurrence of PTSD?

2.  Are there any indicators that can predict who is more susceptible to PTSD? 

3.  What are the course of treatments that have shown success and to what level is that success?

4.  What is the biblical response to this sort of trauma and its lasting effects?

5.  What can a chaplain do to best help soldiers and their families who are suffering?

6.  How much of the problem is physiological and how much is psychological and is there a difference?

This last question is a real tough one for a pastor.  Throughout my ministry I have resisted using psychology as a regular tool and focused on the spiritual components of people's lives.  This is not to say that I don't recognize that there are problems that have physical roots, such as schizophrenia or depression, but rather that not all depression has physical roots.  It is just not possible to easily divide up the soul of a man into neat and well defined compartments.  There are some important metaphysical questions about the nature of man that I need to work through carefully since the answers will determine how I proceed as a chaplain.  Does someone need medicine for some mental illness?  Sure, just as I would advise someone with heart disease to take a doctor prescribed medicine.  But I also know very well that taking an antidepressant or other stronger medicines does not "fix" everyone.  Guilt, fear, anxiety, loss of sleep, irritability and rage can be caused by a physiological problem in the brain but they can also be important mechanisms that lead to a change in a person's life.  The guilt that I experienced in 1993, the year of my conversion, was directly related to the fact that I was sinful and it lead to my repentance.  What if everyone decided to medicate away the affects of God's leading?  But, and I cannot say this strongly enough, I recognize that there are people who have irrational fear, anxiety, guilt, sadness, etc  that are directly linked to a malfunction of the brain's normal operation.  How can a pastor tell one from the other?  There is a wisdom that is needed that only God can provide at this point and I pray that He will guide me through this process. 

I am sure that the Chaplain School at Ft. Jackson is going to address many of these issues, but I know that even though the training will be good, I need to work through these things through the lens of scripture as well.  For those of you have heard me preach and teach that "theology matters", this is an example where the nature of man has a direct impact on "everyday life."  Biblical anthropology may sound like a boring chapter in a systematic theology book, but if you believe that Man is made in the image of God, your actions and responses will look very different than if you believe that Man is a cosmic accident with no life outside the operation of chemical processes in our bodies.  Is there something transcendent about mankind or is Mankind nothing more than our physicality? Old questions to be sure, but the answers matter to everyday life. 

I am also left to ask, "will this happen to me?"  I cannot think that I am immune to PTSD just as I cannot assume that I am immune to sin because I am a pastor.  As I watched the video presentation, I could easily see myself as the man who lies awake at night not being able to rid myself of the images of war.  I could see my wife as the frustrated spouse who loves me, but does not know how to help me.  I can see my family being tormented by my mood swings to the point of total frustration.  Perhaps going in with eyes wide open is the best defense. Perhaps not.  Like I said, lots of questions to answer.

Halloween time again and the kids have been wound up for days about going trick or treating tonight.  Tracy had to take the kids to the neighborhood next door for the real trick or treating action. Apparently all the seminary kids have parents that are conscientious objectors to Halloween.  Personally I do not waste my time on such objections to cultural expressions like Halloween.  As a pastor I have been in many situations that were truly horrifying and demonic and none of them had anything to do with kids dressing up as zombies and gathering candy. Commentary aside, enjoy the pictures and the videos of the kids. On a side note, K has been a some variation on the princess theme for the past 9 years in a row and this year she is a "dead cheerleader."  I think that this is a watershed moment for K's Halloweens.  Kaiser is Spiderman for about the third time (with a slight digression as Wolverine in 2006), but then again, I think I was Superman for 4 or 5 years running.  My first non-superhero outfit was a gorilla mask and hairy suit that my mom made.  The only problem with that outfit was that Mom let the rinse cycle trigger too soon when she was dying some long underwear black and they came out more of a purple.  Yes, I was a grape ape.  This is one of the many traumas that my mother subjected me too in my childhood.  I have forgiven her.